9 Times It Would Have Been Cool If Pizza Replaced Men At The VMAs

MadonnaNoManPizzaFeature

From Bon Jovi, to Diddy, Eminem, and sure, even Jo Calderone, the VMAs sure have had a lot of dudes at them. Let’s be real though –  the show almost always sways female-centric, with moments like Madonna’s ‘Like A Virgin’ performance, and Beyonce’s ‘Love On Top’ pregnancy reveal stealing the show year after year. So we got to thinking… The woman are up there, busting their butts and bringing home the Moonmen, and no doubt working up an appetite. It is HARD to dance and carry a python on your shoulders at the same time, right Britney? The girls deserve better than a case of Kanye-interuptus. What they deserve is pizza. Big, giant, man-shaped pizzas.

Here are 9 times when it would have been cool if pizza replaced the dudes at the VMAs.

+ Lisa Marie Makes Out With A Pizza

JacksonNoManPizza

Look, I’m not saying that there wasn’t something tender about that moment between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie. It’s just that, well… whatever it would have been cooler if she kissed a pizza!!

+ Just Replace Chris Brown With Pizza All The Time

ChrisBrownNoManPizza

A pizza may not be able to dance, but who cares?

+ One Second I’m A Pizza Fan, Then Suddenly The Pizza Is Me

JoeCalderoneNoManPizza

The meat dress was cool and all, but next time Lady Gaga wants to dress like Jo Calderone, she should just wear what is most likely his favorite food — PIZZA.

+ 100 Slices Of Pizza At Once

EminemNoManPizza

Who cares about Slim Shady when you’ve got enough pizza to feed all of Beyonce’s backup dancers?

+ Papa Ginos, Little Ceasar — On The Cover Of A Magazine

MadonnaNoManPizza

She may be from Michigan, but Madonna is as new york as a $1 slice. It probably would have made her feel right at home to have a few thin crusts dancing behind her.

+ Rage Against Nothing. You’re A Pizza.

TimRageNoManPizza

When one of the members of Rage Against The Machine climbed the scaffolding at the 2000 VMAs, it was a pretty big deal. But it would have been a gosh darn miracle if it was a slice of pizza.

+ Pizza IS Love.

MacklemoreNoManPizza

It was truly a triumphant moment when Macklemore & Mary Lambert won the Best Video With A Social Message at last years VMAs. That said, still would have been pretty cool if the dudes were pizza. The message of pizza is joy, so it wouldn’t be that far off.

+ Imma Let You Finish, But Pizza Had The Best Existence Of All Time.

TaylorKanyeNoManPizza

Taylor was really sweet about it when Kanye stormed the stage, but if he was a pizza, she could have chomped his head off. Just sayin’.

 

The 2014 MTV Video Music Awards are a wrap! Stick with us for the most talked-about moments, red carpet photos, the VMA winners list and more.

More From the 2014 VMAs

take action

Chime For Change

Chime For Change

Get involved with Chime for Change to empower girls and women in the areas of health, education and justice!